Someone does something inconsiderate or infuriating that frustrates or angers us. We fume about it for hours. We've given this person the power to make us frustrated and angry, to ruin our day, often without them even realising it.
We are lonely because we are alone, no longer with the partner who broke up with us. We have given away our power to feel loved to someone else, who perhaps doesn't want to give us that love.
We walk into a social gathering and hope to impress people, to gain their approval, to be liked. we've given away our power of being approved to others, who don't even know they have a responsibility to validate us.
we are still angry at our parents (or one of our parents) for the crappy way they raised us, or for certain things they did that screwed us up. we've given away our power to shape our own life, to people who haven't been responsible for raising us for years, since we became an adult.
In all of these cases, and many more examples throughout our day, we've given away the power to be happy, to be content, to be joyful, to other people, who haven't even asked for that power or realise we've handed it to them.
But actually, the power over these states of mind — approval, love, anger, joy — resides completely inside of us.
This is the hidden source of power that we don't tap into.
Let me give you an example. Let's say you're pining over a lover who has rejected you, and wishing you had those incredible moments back, where they made you feel happy, loved. But actually, the source of that love was inside of you, not outside of you. When you were with your ex-lover, they were there in the room with you, but the source of feeling loved was in your own mind, in your own heart. You made yourself feel that way, by how you perceived the situation.
That means that we have the power to make ourself feel loved. At any time. It's always available to us. It depends on no one else.
You have the power to make ourself feel angry, or at peace. To feel hurt, or joyful. To feel connected, or disconnected. To feel accepted, or rejected.
That's not to say that other people don't do crappy things. But those crappy things don't have to make us feel horrible — we can let them slide off of us, and decide how we want to feel. Sure, that's easier said than done, but it's still a power that resides within us.
That's also not to say we don't need anyone else. Or that we're an island, standing completely on our own. In our view, we are more interconnected than we realise. Choosing to see ourselves as already interconnected, always connected to the emotions of others, is actually a way to tap into our inner power. Turning towards others and seeing their pain and love, not just our own, is a fantastic way to tap into the power to make ourselves feel purposeful, to feel loved.
But make no mistake: the power is inside of us, nowhere else.
We can make ourselves feel loved, by loving ourselves and others.
We can make ourselves feel liked and approved of, by seeing ourselves and finding the miracle in what we see, finding contentment in who we are, just as we are.
We can make ourselves feel peace, by letting go of slights and judgments of others, and finding contentment in how things are, loving things as they are.
We can give ourselves joy, by realising our interconnectedness with others, by caring about others, by appreciating the heartbreaking beauty of this moment, just as it is.
